*is it, or not?ü*

"Weak"

[VERSE 1:]
I don't know what it is that you've done to me
But it's caused me to act in such a crazy way
Whatever it is that you do when you do what you're doing
It's a feeling that I want to stay
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you

[CHORUS:]
I get so weak in the knees
I can hardly speak, I lose all control
Then somethin' takes over me
In a daze, your love's so amazing
It's not a phase
I want you to stay with me, by my side
I swallow my pride
Your love is so sweet, it knocks me right off of my feet
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak

[VERSE 2:]
Time after time after time I've tried to fight it
But your love is strong, it keeps on holdin' on
Resistance is down when you're around, pride's fading
In my condition I don't want to be alone
'Cuz my heart starts beating triple time
With thoughts of lovin' you on my mind
I can't figure out just what to do
When the cause and cure is you, you

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE:]
I've tried hard to fight it
No way can I deny it
Your love's so sweet
It knocks me off my feet

[CHORUS]

[BRIDGE 2:]
I get so weak
Blood starts racing through my veins
I get so weak
Boy it's somethin' I can't explain
I get so weak
Somethin' 'bout the way you do the things you're do-oo-oo-in'
Knocks me right off of my feet (off my feet)
Can't explain why your lovin' makes me weak (I get so)


let's just say i just wanted to post it for no reason at all.üüü *uish*

happy braggamuffin baby girl here!ü *applause*
~*princessa

*back to square one*

and i have learned my lessons... darn you stupid girl.. want me to enumerate?

you can never mix ateneo and la salle... but you can always shift to UST...

the vball game against UST was super-damn-fine, and that pimentel and my ever-idol pano and balse did their best! *applause* i admit that patti and the gang did quite good... but talk about the dancing... call that some blah. =P i love UST not just because their freaking damn good, but because we're talking 'bout boss.. boss santamaria. mom's hS coach. the terrod of sJc.. dear oLd alma mater. period.

and you can never mix la salle and ateneo... if you know what i mean.ü


i have this theory, as my mind ponders and contemplate on this darn gloomy day...

i cannot live life without love, but with fries and sundae? sh0o0o0o0o0o0ore.ü

and for now? well, let's just fall down as this day looks so much like me. gloomy and unpredictable. damn it.

want some fries?ü

~*princessa

*change topic*

i had the nerve to talk to jason last night, and it was quite uplifting the first part. the next, i have learned something, and my world fell to pieces. damn it. i despise him for being so inconsiderate. so here i am, living out the lsat ounce of feelings for him.

bye, boy... somebody loved you, and your chance passed.


now, here's this boy.. he's taken, but... well...ü


baby, it's you.üüü


~*princessa

*baby, it's him....*

"Baby It's You"

OoooohhaaaahhhhhOhhhaaaahhhh.......

[Verse 1]
Can somebody explain to me
Why everybody is trying to be
Living like a celebrity
Doing what they see on MTV.
That's cool but I am looking for more, simple things is what my heart beats for.

Cause that's me
I don't ask for much
Baby
Having you is enough

[Chorus]
You ain't got to buy nothing
It's not what I want
Baby it's You
We don't have to go nowhere
Its not what I want
Baby it's you
It's not for what you got
I know you got a lot
No matter what you do
You always gettin Hot
It's You,
It's You
Baby all I want is You Yeah

[Verse 2]
It doesn't matter that your car is fly
And your rims are spinning on the side and
It doesn't matter where we go tonight
Cause if I'm with you I'll be alright.
That's cool but I'm lookin for more
Its your love that my heart beats for.

Cause thats me
Don't have to spend a dime
Baby
I just want your time.ü


damn, here i go again... but heck... it can't be! he's taken!!!ü

oh, gawd.. crazy princessa careerista. =P

~*princessa

*ugh, boys...*

today is the day when i really know that i am crushing... *uish* is it that hard? really dunno.ü there's this guy, who's oh-so-not-that-cute; but i like him. damn. is he nice? very.is he sweet? very. is he marvelous? very.every single day i look forward to see him, even if he's late, and everytime we have the same classes together. we talk, oh yeah, but i do feel that sometimes my eyes and actions do betray me. hope not *chuckles* it's just that it's a bit awkward telling the world, ranting out that "hey, i like yew!!!" it's just s0o funny.. to think he's not as cute as the jeep boy.. but it's just so great.ü gives me the tickles when he's around even if he smells like somebody's grandpa (hey, my grandpa smelled great! =P), even if he usually's out of the room... even if he's just chairs away... it just feels so great.ü he's cute. or is he?üüü

haha, kiss me freak, i am a "careerista"... *guffaws*ü
~*princessa

*story of a girl*

this occurred on the night of june 18, 2005 at exactly 7:40 pm. a girl, who, undecisively arrives at a bash with a chaperone and a chaperon of the same lingo with nothing and armed with only the hot pink shirt she loves, water lily fragrance, her broken, disarming smile and broken confidence; faces the world and the music for center stage... and unfortunately wasn't able to break a leg. marvelous.

it came to her, as she mingled with the crowd, that part of her defense was right; and that it was every single second worth fighting for. she saw, in recurrence, a girl of the past. she said to herself, "what is this, clash of the titans? back to the future? meeting of the two pasts? pathetic." as she conversed with almost every soul, she felt this lightness and guilt, making her think of the sole meaning and reason of why she really was there.

and the girl, whose forte was spontaneous and public speaking; was at a sudden loss at words. why, she thought to herself after the event... was it because what her heart told her was too heavy that it jammed? or was it that there were too many people that she felt that there were just some things not worth letting the world know, even if her actions, words, eyes and feelings betrayed the operatic face she always played so hard to put on? or did she just presume that he knew what she really wanted to say? she hopes so, she's not that sure.

she may know, but she is till in denial, that everything has to change.
but she will never give up the fight. as he has told her, "nikki, you're strong, and i know."

she misses. silly little brat, she is.
~*princessa

blue sky, pink walls, and shades of you*

We were as one, babe
for a moment in time.
And it seemed everlasting,
that you would always be mine.

Now you wanna be free,
so I'm letting you fly,
'cause I know in my heart, babe,
our love will never die.

You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.

And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

I ain't gonna cry, no,
and I won't beg you to stay.
If you're determined to leave boy,
I will not stand in your way.

But inevitably
you'll be back again,
'cause you know in your heart, babe,
our love will never end.

You'll always be a part of me.

I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

I know that you'll be back, boy,
when your days and your nights get a little bit colder.
I know that you'll be right back, baby.
Baby, believe me, it's only a matter of time, time.
You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely.
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.

And we'll linger on,
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me,
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.

You'll always be a part of me.
I'm part of you indefinitely,
Boy, don't you know you can't escape me.
Ooh darling, cause you'll always be my baby.
And we'll linger on.
Time can't erase a feeling this strong.
No way you're ever gonna shake me.
Oh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby.ü

darn, it's jace's birthday. and i still miss.ü
and you'll always be my baby. happy birthday, pEz boy.ü

~*princessa

*m lovin' it*

this day is just wonderful!!! i have now officially made it formal that i am crushing over him!!! *uish* gawd, this guy in my class is just to die for!!!üüü it's just that he has this slight resemblance to allan; but heck... i'm falling down!üüü

i really want to go to jace's parteeh this weekend, but heck.. can't. i'm grounded. =P i'd rather go there than my mcd0 affair.. that can come later. i just still wish i can make a way to go and come around.

happy birthday jace... you're marvelous.ü and older!!!ü *kisskisshugs*


can't hardly wait for tomorrow...ü

*wishful thinking*

and so the life of a pitiful princessa goes on...

sometimes, you just have to control the surges of the mind to continually ask ofr something that is almost unattainable. and when you try to look around you, you just can't decipher what you really want. the best of it all. the cream of the crop. the top of the world.

hello, princessa.. wake up!

you want this, you need that, you yearn for this, you crave for that. and sometimes, you just wished that everything in eternal sunshine of the spotless mind was real.

damn, let's just get to the point, will we?

i want him back.
stupid me.
~*princessa

*you live, you learn*

i have been in this new school for three days now. funny it is quite funny that i already have a handful of friends already. i never expected that. life has been stressful right now, and changes sometimes can really dry your guts out. so far, deppression does set in; thus eating the princessa state of mind. harhar, marvelous.ü

i really think i need that prozac.

i am stupid. i know it. i mean, fall your friend... your best friend, or if that's what call it. if i couldn't help it, what's next? breakdown? oh, puhleease... this crap is really getting on my nerves!

and what if i can't get pEz back? what's next? another breakdown? this is pain, damn it. and i miss, again. and i recall. and what's next? peace mof mind is so hard to obtain right now. i hate myself. i still love pEz. nasty little bitch.


I'll keep searching
Deep within my soul
For all the answers
Don't wanna hurt no more

I need peace, got to feel at ease
Need to be.
Free from pain - going insane
My heart aches, yeah

Sometimes vocabulary runs right through my head
The alphabet runs right from A to Z
Conversations, hesitations in my mind
You got my conscience asking questions that I can't find

I'm not crazy,
I'm sure I ain't done nothing wrong
I'm just waiting
'Cause I heard that this feeling won't last that long

Never ever have I ever felt so low
When ya gonna take me out of this black hole?
Never ever have I ever felt so sad
The way I'm feeling yeah, you got me feeling really bad

Never ever have I had to find
I've had to dig away to find my own peace of mind
I've Never ever had my conscience to fight
The way I'm feeling, yeah, I just don't feel right...


i still love. deny, deny, deny. realize, admit, pain.
~*princessa

*head over feet... again*

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I’m a princess
I’m not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

(chorus)
You’ve already won me over in spite of me
Don’t be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don’t be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn’t help it
It’s all your fault

Your love is think and it swallowed me whole
You’re so much braver than I gave you credit for
That’s not lip service

(repeat chorus)

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You’re the best listener that I’ve ever met
You’re my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I’ve never felt this healthy before
I’ve never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now...

when will this all stop? it's painful, rational and real.
i just don't want to fall to pieces again...
i miss, again.
~*princessa

*red and being stopped-or so i think*

it's quite funny how i did ride a jeep in kamuning and not ending up with like 6 people wiht the same color of outfit.ü and there were these two guys who went down at k-7th street, but was also replaced with a guy in red! haha, how marvelous. i know it's quite shallow, but hey; that was fun.ü

and yeah, that last gut looked so much like ken. only cuter. which also reminds me of summer camp last year when ken was my ycc.ü

i just don't get the point where i am so out of words right now. or maybe i do and just deny it... well, maybe. i have this addiction to my blog which is constantly turned to to write these things; not because i have to broadcast it to the world, no. but to vent it all out in such a fashion i know my mind will work. i have never been so spontaneous in this manner. or so i deny again.

but today, and the past days, and the weeks, have lead me to this utter silence; to keep me from saying the things i so long to say but cannot. i do not know if it's the problems, or the lack of interest, or simply not in the mood for anything fun but to hang around with the pEz. i start to hate myself again.

or so i think.
~*princessa

*hawaiian craze and the eternal sunshine*

it wasn't long ago that the hawaiian trinidads visited our home with a surprise. there came auntie del, uncle beato, tia arlene, tio jun and tia glo. with a lot of stories and lotsa comparing; that night was really fun.ü

also they were constantly telling me that i really looked like my mother during her high school days. haha. did that mean that she was also this skinny with the exception of chubby chokers? or the hair?ü i dunno. but hey, that was marvelous.ü

i have watched also, not too long ago, the movie eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i have thought about it for days and days... it's just wrong.

you know, the thought of just erasing the chosen memories you'd want to. well, even just the hurting ones. it's just wrong.

waha, it's just wrong. even if i wanted to, i just don't want to.

i picked this up just a few minutes ago... heck, and hoe do you convince me to practice my own version of the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind? eh? eh?!



I looked away
Then I looked back at you
You tried to say
The things that you can't undo
If I had my way
I'd never get over you
Today is the day
I pray that we make it through
Make it through the fall
Make it through it all

And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

You're the only one
I'd be with 'til the end
When I come undone
You bring me back again
Back under the stars
Back into your arms

And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

Wanna know who you are
Wanna know where to start
I wanna know what this means
Wanna know how you feel
Wanna know what is real
I wanna know everything
Everything

I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
I don't want to talk about it

And I don't want to fall to pieces
I just want to sit and stare at you
I don't want to talk about it
And I don't want a conversation
I just want to cry in front of you
And I don't want to talk about it
'Cause I'm in love with you

I'm in love with you
'Cause I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you
I'm in love with you.

~*princessa

*expectations and indian summer*

i hope i haven't expected too much of myself, and maybe i just did. sometimes i feel annoyance, and sometimes pride, sometimes prejudice, and sometimes just pain. i feel weak, and yet sometimes there's this urgent need of an ego boost that will certainly lift my spirits up high.

i just don't get the idea why people tell you to move on. well, okay, let's just say it's a sincere gesture... but sometimes, oyu just can't force a person to exactly forget and get with the program. you can't do that with a lovefool. never. ever. i realized that some buttheads just don't get it. and they never will. i now know that i can change, for the betterment of myself and my sanity, but time can only tell. i don't want to give myself a time frame for i know if i don't follow that it could only trigger something else. it will pass, with the help of God.

as for me, the antisocial-as-of-now princessa with the ever-optimistic attitude; well... i really don't know what's next. losing a friendship gaining a scholarship. it's just that you really can't have all the luck in the world. it is, by universal procedures that you just have to let something else go. i am trying to. and i know that God only knows what's next for me.

i can't say that just because i am moping over a guy until now is that he is "just" a guy. no way. that person really did have a drastic change in me. like a leech stuck on your favrite shirt. the cherry in the coke. the topping on the ice cream. probably just the best i ever had. also, i do not have a single clue with that situation; but maybe, just maybe... God also has a plan for that.

not that i hate being single, it's just that i miss the part where you always got to hang around with a person who you know loves you very much. and i mope. it's called the post-indian summer-deppression. everybody goes through that. it's just that lovefools don't recover that fast.

i miss. i mope. but still...
~*princessa