Someday i'll fly, someday i'll soar; someday i'll be so damn much more: 'cause i'm bigger than my body gives me credit for.

Friday, October 28, 2005

*double-sided tape*

28th of october, 2005...

a few weeks more, it's gonna be christmas.

and in a few weeks more, am gonna be completely insane. damn. why is it that you have to pretend that things are okay when the thing is, it isn't? or when you think that things aren't okay, when the thing is, they are? it's all about the viseversa thing, you know; and that maybe because people have this insatiable shitty attitude of finding contentment that nobody gets to find it anyway?


it's practically the reason why people aren't content.

i feel sick, as of today. i have dancer's legs and an aching lower back because of my period. it comes early this year. hahaha! didn't really have to broadcast that. but this is a journal, for crying out loud! and i feel nauseous all because of three people. damn it.

on trez, that's one. he's cute, he's fun, he's my official YCC-summer 2005. much of a person that softened the blows that i received on may 7, 2005. evening. camp was as weird as that? yeah. but we're in touch, we're close, we're... we're... help me out here, please. i don't want to be involved with someoe younger than a year.

what a bitch.

on pez, gawd.. isn't this supposed to be a cold case already?! cold case in the sense of being unresolved, but still not closed. i wish he didn't bring up the idea of having him over for christmas, damn it. and how the shit and the why did he know?! or did that just enter his mind and bluffed? i have to admit, mommy likes him so much... i hate my mother for that, i hate him for that... but i am proud. (weird) but it's about time i resolved this.

or can i? damn estrada, you are such a weak bitch! *sob*


on trez2.. that's new. yeah, i know. trez IS a double-sided tape. a double-backing tape. why, there's two peeps under the same categ, dearie. but this one's the malupet one. he's my original YCC-2004. even before allan. even before renzo. even before jason. even before blah-blah-blahblah-blah came to history. he's tall, dark, "semi"-handsome.. and damn, he's 3 years my senior!!! that's it.. maybe he thinks i'm too young for him that i'm forever stuck in the little girl category. but we're in touch. so much. and i miss him. and he misses me. oh, damn it!


where is my life going, actually? dunno. it's always the damn journ-slash-queen thing. i hate it sometimes.. grabe. AM SOO PREDICTABLE. yuck.


and for christmas? what am i having? nothing!!!! hahaha! kill me please...


i don't want this anymore, this tangle that i am in.

trez. pez. trez2. pez. trez. trez2. *sobs*.... hmm... lemme see... *sobs some more* and what if i can't help it???

»i know you're out there, somewhere out there... -OLOPeace


help me, please. i love the world so much.
~*princessa

Thursday, October 27, 2005

*choke me*

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.

I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.


Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw you face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

*bongga ka day fever*

22nd of october, 2005.

in two days, i am officially a two-year-old YFCer!!! *applause*

just can't wait!

but hey, isn't supposed to mean the "super active" mode? in my case, it's the "pseudo-active-mode". haha. mew. =p

anyway, 64 days and counting 'til the 1-year-anniversary of dancing in the moonlight. waiiiit, am i supposed to write this? anyway, here are some things i could do... can i keep it up? dunno. well, let's see:

» grape soap. ohmahgoodygoodytwoshoez!

» remembering that grape soap reminds you of that december 5 affair. really, it does!!! eew...

» that dancing in the moonlight is sooo passe, in my case

» that you can't dance under the lights of the christmas tree, either, this year.

» i'll miss something, someone all because of christmas eve 2k4.


i'll be happy for you, if you'd be happy for me... -g. stefani

i'll keep it up, i'm happy, anyway.Ü

wish me luck, wish me all the love in the world.
~*princessa

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

*dancing in the moonlight*

i sat under the moon and stars last night, under my favorite secluded spot in the garden. damn, if there weren't much rain clouds last night, i could've broken down again.

hey look, this song by craog david is waaaay into the retrospective side of princessa, but do review it:

[VERSE 1]
For all the years that I've known you baby
I can't figure out the reason why lately you've been acting so cold
(didn't you say)
If there's a problem we should work it out
So why you giving me the cold shoulder now
Like you don't even wanna talk to me girl
(tell me)
Ok I know I was late again
I made you mad and then it's throwing the pan
But why are you making this drag on so long
(i wanna know)
I'm sick and tired of this silly games
(silly games)
Don't figure that I'm the only one here to blame
It's not me here who's been going round slamming doors
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[VERSE 2]
I know that I made a few mistakes
But never thought that things would turn out this way
Cause I'm missing something now that your gone
(I see it all so clearly)
Me at the door with you inner state
(inner state)
Giving my reasons but as you look away
I can see a tear roll down your face
That's when you turned and said to me
I don't care babe who's right or wrong
I just don't love you no more.

[CHORUS]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more

[BRIDGE]
Don't say those words it's so hard
They turn my whole world upside down
Girl you caught me completely off guard
On the night you said to me
I just don't love you more.

[CHORUS 2X]
Rain outside my window pouring down
What now, your gone, my fault, I'm sorry
Feeling like a fool cause I let you down
Now it's, too late, to turn it around
I'm sorry for the tears I made you cry
I guess this time it really is goodbye
You made it clear when you said
I just don't love you no more



i wanna dance in the moonlight this year!!!!


am i a rag doll of some sort? haha.

back to topic. anyway, almost going to be a year after dancing under the moonlight. damn, sometimes just remembering that last time makes me feel quivery. haha, go figure. sometimes, yes, sometimes... i miss my old self. but i've gone this far... can i expect myself to go back?

nahh, nevermind.
love the world.ü

Friday, October 14, 2005

*mooh*

today's just one of those days when you think that you're the sweetest little devil on the face of the planet, which you can face the fact that you can come second. okay, nikki princessa's always second, just basing it on the birth order. oh. but second-born kids are just wonderful, correct?ü oh, yeah.

damn. but being such a bad-bitch-when-mad has its ups, too.ü you can beat them in a punch, a taunt, a rawr, a torment, a real statement... they get the bara-blues whenever they hear Her Majesty speak. *curtsies*

whoever's gonna batch queen '06, good luck. *hahaha*

as for yew, sometimes i hate you.i hate you so much that i could kill you. i hate you so much that i wish that you'd just dissipate into thin air. you and you. sometimes i just try to think about the time before crossing roads; if it was really worth it. i hate you so much that i regret my past regressions, my actions towards you.

sometimes, i just love you. just sometimes. *liar* damn it, i love you. still.

oh yeah, sometimes i think you're just so lucky that someone loves you as much.
stupid you, stupid me.

~*princessa

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

*shit happens*

today's pathetically glum. it's raining, it sucks, its raining... oh gawd, i could go on and on. eeew.

if only.

~*princessa

Sunday, October 09, 2005

*no way!!!*

i couldn'r believe the dumb factoid that princesses had that stupid capacity to miss such unapprehensible butthead frog princes!!!!


yuck. eeew. *barf*

no way.
~*princessa

Saturday, October 08, 2005

*norahjonesing*

»ay lab ep eeh yuu!!!«

GAWD!!! FEU grabbed the title from DLSU just yesterday!!! *cheers* goodness... pano ba yaaaan... hahaha! glory be to ep ee yuu!! haha!ü and congratz to arwond santos, their glory is well-deserved, after that dumb commotion of DLSU's asst. team mngr. literally punched santos's back after game 1... hawhawhaw.. tao nga naman pag pikon! nyoohoohoow!

ay lab ep eeh yuu...
macareer nga...
*guffaws*

»haLe-oh

what's with the hale cd at home that even mom and dad drool over their sawngs?!ü well, understated, but aren't they to die for???!ü anyway, here's my LSS, here tonight:


So long to you my love
Don't be afraid to run away
I know you'll be okay
Just take your time to find

But i need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really, really need you here tonight

Made up my mind on this
Too late for me to hold you back
Maybe to short or dumb
To cry for you but i will anyway


It's all my fault
To feel this way for you that day
I know i am and i will
Though it's wrong,so wrong


Cause i need you here tonight
I need you here inside
I need you here tonight
I really, really need you here

I need you, i need you
I need you here inside
I need you i need you
I really, really need you


uish... kornee mo estrada!!! datz zso sappy... but hey, unapplicable but cute.ü

»merry ex-mas«

i suddenly remembered xmas '04, and boyohboyohboy... was i happy then... and mean. hawhawhaw... such a devil then!!üüü *devil* hahaha...

i wish i could make barbie squirm with envy that i did it and she hasn't.. yet! i mean, danced under the stars... muharhar!!! ;p

i'm such an angel.ü

just norahjonesing.ü


we love because its the only one real adventure life offers. - N. Giovanni



~*princessa

Monday, October 03, 2005

*"clown"-ting dah dayz...*

wheeee!!! it's already the 3rd of october.ü nyak. anyways, what's for october, anyway? well, three days of partying since george, cholo and bobbie's birthdays fall on the 18th, 11th and 1st, respectively... then there goes the official division press conference with those silly people you easily get tired of seeing every now and then, that makes you go fart fart of boredom *chuckles* with the exception of that cute boy...ü should i be happy about that, even excited? *ponders* uhhh... well... maybe at first, but now? *faint*

also, there's the impeccable october 24th... which makes me officially two years old as a YFC member!!! *cheers* yeehaw!üÜü with the exception of those fond memoirs, i won't be showing myself for a while... whether they like it or not... even if i want to. *sniffles* i have to.


"we will never be the same..." -b. almabis



now, save the day with just a smile.Ü
~*princessa

Saturday, October 01, 2005

*last sHoRtY_10 post.. honest*

yesterday typically racked my head off! *whew* i now have "dancer's legs" -the kind of legs that are kinda wobbly from dancing.. but damn it... we won 3rd place!!! better one than none, ika nga.ü but i was expecting more of the journ side.. that part was shitty hard! =p nyweiz...

i'm home right now, and over the week, this is the only time i get to realize how much i missed the little devils and my mom... no matter how weird some things can tick her off and blow her head off and practically blame the fall of waterloo on you; i admit i did miss her, and i love my mom more.ü

i still hate that barbie doll. when can i forgive her? well.. lemme think first. dream on, girl... you know too much for a "mistaken vested interest".

i try to avoid some songs that can break my patience, really. i've analyzed some things that'll make me the old nikki i've been with and without jason. those times really made me think out loud that trying to find a way to survive each day without him. and now is the time that i should (and i know i've already did!) change, for the better.ü in fact, no matter how mean he's been to me, he's taught me how to be stronger; and i have found an outstanding identity in myself without jason by my side, and i'll live up to that.

although sometimes, i can't help but think of what could've been if JaNi23 was still alive; unfalingly making the world go ooh and ahh with that presence.

and then i realized... wait... JaNi23's still around, still the same content but from a different aspect, in different worlds only.

i continue to love myself, and the world.ü
~*princessa