*expectations and indian summer*

i hope i haven't expected too much of myself, and maybe i just did. sometimes i feel annoyance, and sometimes pride, sometimes prejudice, and sometimes just pain. i feel weak, and yet sometimes there's this urgent need of an ego boost that will certainly lift my spirits up high.

i just don't get the idea why people tell you to move on. well, okay, let's just say it's a sincere gesture... but sometimes, oyu just can't force a person to exactly forget and get with the program. you can't do that with a lovefool. never. ever. i realized that some buttheads just don't get it. and they never will. i now know that i can change, for the betterment of myself and my sanity, but time can only tell. i don't want to give myself a time frame for i know if i don't follow that it could only trigger something else. it will pass, with the help of God.

as for me, the antisocial-as-of-now princessa with the ever-optimistic attitude; well... i really don't know what's next. losing a friendship gaining a scholarship. it's just that you really can't have all the luck in the world. it is, by universal procedures that you just have to let something else go. i am trying to. and i know that God only knows what's next for me.

i can't say that just because i am moping over a guy until now is that he is "just" a guy. no way. that person really did have a drastic change in me. like a leech stuck on your favrite shirt. the cherry in the coke. the topping on the ice cream. probably just the best i ever had. also, i do not have a single clue with that situation; but maybe, just maybe... God also has a plan for that.

not that i hate being single, it's just that i miss the part where you always got to hang around with a person who you know loves you very much. and i mope. it's called the post-indian summer-deppression. everybody goes through that. it's just that lovefools don't recover that fast.

i miss. i mope. but still...
~*princessa