*duhh-day*

this isn't exactly "the day" i was supposed to be happy. *sob* oh, this is so stewpeed of me. and yeah.. life sucks, bigtime. shit happens. bullshit. whatever. oh my. oh no.

*unspoken silence*

today i am now us unpredictable as the day... may never know if it'll rain or shine. but what the day has brought did have its gains.ü not much teachers to teach, a marvelous periodic table... and the unspoken feelings that have been kept for so long.

have they been kept from the world? well... not really.ü


sorta, i guess. but the heart can never be hidden if the eyes do betray. *nyak*

if he knows, then let time make its magic occur. if not, well; life will have to go on.

the barrier still exists, and i cannot break that.

or can i? *heehee*

*nyahaha*
*uish*

well, just maybe.ü

~*princessa

*weird*

today is the day that i can never forgive myself for being in such a mess. *sigh* mean day, mean peeps, mean everything! *sigh* oh, this day is just as freaking gloomy as i am.

i have made a mistake for practically beating myself up for expecting too much. or did i? maybe we do come to a certain point in a freaking life that sometimes, life is just darn unfair. do i feel what i really feel for this person? or is he just a springboard-slash-trampoline so that falling wouldn't be that hard. does he really care? i wish. if he really did, why wouldn't he just change the world so that it would be a bit more digestible... if that's what you call it. *bLeh*

do i still love pez? that's just one big question i leave the majority of the world to answer. practically weird, but yes, that's what i can say about this all. and for the record, does he still feel something back? i dunno. i wish he did. sometimes i pray he would. blah. nevermind. he wouldn't care anyway.

~*princessa

*colorful?! yuck*

today is a day when orange plaid collides with red paint and marker-blue stupidity. eek. that's what you get for making the stupid periodic table. ugh. today i find myself wondering how stupid i can get for expecting too much of people and making and living up to my reputation as the demented lovefool. *sob*

today is big sis joey's birthday! *woohoow* happy birthday ate, even if you are a pain in the butt sometimes; i love you all the same.ü

i miss pEz. i think i'm falling for *bLeh*. oh my, this is hell.

sa loob-loob ko lang, kailangan kita.-o&L
~*princessa

*dahdah dayz...*

today is a day in which i can say that happiness comes in the smallest ways possible.ü i have savored the day amidst the rain and ate my lunch to the maximity of the space of the canister. i have now reached the goal.

or did i? *uish*

maybe i did. what i hated about the day was i did get a 65% for not reciting in english class... all because i wasn't excused from chem class for doing that heck of a large periodic table of blah.

did i do something? uhh.. err.. ehe. =P

but you do get some benefits, i say.ü

yeah, yeah... maybe a part of the goal was reached.

so here i go, will savor the cd's fruits.ü

~*princessa

*la dialogo un la conscientia de maria*

maria: i think i'm doomed... i am falling. again.
conscience: por favor, maria... he's taken!
maria: and what do you want me to do? headbang again???
conscience: i wasn't saying that.
maria: you were hinting...
conscience: well, i uhh..
maria: see! you suck!
conscience: at least now, you know.
maria: i think i'll fall to pieces again.
conscience: oh, maria... i dunno how to help you like this. do it on your own.
maria: is it true, that no matter how you wonder how it goes, love will always be as irrational as can be?
conscience: sorta.
maria: that's so stupid.
conscience: well, that's how it goes, birdbrain!
maria: oh, my...
conscience: oh, my what?
maria: here we go again...


~*princessa

*uhh.. i uhh...*

.. am having one of these stupid phases again. blah, bLeh.ü

~*princessa

*oh, that's so stupid of me*

hmm.. lemme see... today is the day that i can really say to myself, "damn, i am tired!" today, i am now thinking my mind off if i'd want to go back tomorrow for the last day of the scrabble tournament. i don't want to anymore because i am exhausted... s0o0o0oper!!!ü haha, marvelous.ü

today is the day that i can say that i am back in this weird mess and tangle of occurences that i really cannot decipher... if i'll want the past, goof up the present, and simply twist the future. decisions, decisions. *sigh*

having to see a part of the past is way too confusing. seeing him adjust to the present is something waaay too weird. and for the future with him? i really dunno. dunno what? fight for him back, that is. do i still care? a big EHHHHHWANNNNN. MAYBE? oh, puhlease. *sigh*

missing somebody... this person... he's just marvelous, i tell you. a freakin' artiste that can rock your world with his sketches in just seconds. a cool chap, i say. damn it. wrong pick, nicolette... he's taken!!! *argh* oh my... *sigh*

damn, i am tired. too much scrabble did scramble my mind. *chuckles*

maybe i'll just attend class tomorrow.
or maybe not. *yawn*

do i miss? yes, i do.ü
~*princessa

*twist, turn and flip of events...ü harhar*

i have been in a more better, sophisticated side of me lately.ü *applause* i have been more quiet, been more energetic, more prone to adjusting my a.m. wake-up calls to cater to the most laziest, craziest and smartest group of groupies which are my siblings plus my vanity and skewl afterward; i am proud. i holler out to the world that "baby, i rock".üüü

i have been thinking about my catty classmate's remark on my activity:

cat: "oi nikki, ba't ang tahimik/tamlay mo na lately?"
meeh: "ha? what the heck do you mean?"
cat: "anu, ung ano... uhm.. ang tamlay mo na.."
meeh: "what? e ganito nman ako ever since ah. i don't need to talk my head off every now and the, you know."

maybe because i have found the answer to what i have been searching in vain for so long.ü and maybe i have learned to accept the changes in my life. or maybe i am giving a new meaning to the phrase, "nikki, you're strong, and i know it. kaya mo yan."ü

i got this from lavaball lav at her account. piece of advice on the boy-hunters.ü :

.."TRUE LOVE"..
..isnt about telling it to someone you love..
..nor hugging or kissing a person..
..its about sacrificing..
..willing to do so..
..its about eating your own pride..
..and give away to be loved too..

..girls,advice..
..find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot..
..who calls you back when you hang up on him..
..who will stay awake just to watch you sleep..
..wait for the guy who kisses your forehead intead of your lips..
..who wants to show off to the world when you are in sweats..
..who holds your hands in front of his friends..
..wait for the one who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he is to have you..
..and finally,wait for the guy who turns to his friends and says "..pare that's her.."

and i am, loud and proud...
~*princessa