*story of a girl*

this occurred on the night of june 18, 2005 at exactly 7:40 pm. a girl, who, undecisively arrives at a bash with a chaperone and a chaperon of the same lingo with nothing and armed with only the hot pink shirt she loves, water lily fragrance, her broken, disarming smile and broken confidence; faces the world and the music for center stage... and unfortunately wasn't able to break a leg. marvelous.

it came to her, as she mingled with the crowd, that part of her defense was right; and that it was every single second worth fighting for. she saw, in recurrence, a girl of the past. she said to herself, "what is this, clash of the titans? back to the future? meeting of the two pasts? pathetic." as she conversed with almost every soul, she felt this lightness and guilt, making her think of the sole meaning and reason of why she really was there.

and the girl, whose forte was spontaneous and public speaking; was at a sudden loss at words. why, she thought to herself after the event... was it because what her heart told her was too heavy that it jammed? or was it that there were too many people that she felt that there were just some things not worth letting the world know, even if her actions, words, eyes and feelings betrayed the operatic face she always played so hard to put on? or did she just presume that he knew what she really wanted to say? she hopes so, she's not that sure.

she may know, but she is till in denial, that everything has to change.
but she will never give up the fight. as he has told her, "nikki, you're strong, and i know."

she misses. silly little brat, she is.
~*princessa