*sunny day? oh, heck*

"Cool With You"

Late last night
I was goin through some old things
When i Saw a picture of you and my best friend
It reminded me of day when you were mine
You had a way that always let me hear with a smile
I want those sweet days back again
Cause baby

[Chorus:]

Its sunny day
But you're not around
That dog gone rain might as well be pouring down
Its such a shame
Cause your heart on the ground
Just wanna be cool with you again

Sometimes I sit By the fire and reminisce
About the time we spent infront of it
And that old flame will never be the same
Until you come back and rekindle it
I just wanna share my heart with you again
Cause babe

[Chorus]

I fall asleep at night
And often see you here
In my dreams
Holding me
But then I wake up and I realize that you're
Not here with me
It hurts so much
I gotta have you back babe

[Chorus x2]


haha, how sarcastic... anyway, dance class isn't dance class after a whole lotta dancing, (my but of course) ice cream at 10 bucks a pop, and a daily dosage of denial, dealing, reminiscing, pigging out, sickness, and yeah; missing.

i miss so0o much. *sob*
~*princessa


xcess:

baywalk was wonderful... but i still know i missed something, some one, perhaps. *ponders sarcastically*

*life, love, jace and the so-called supergoddess*

hoohoow, this is such a long entry...

"beauty queen of only eighteen, she had some trouble with herself..."


this life has never been so hard, so despicable, so tirng, so, so, pathetic. i have never been so alone in my life. ths is hell. ugh. i had this kinda blooper (if that's what you call it) ths morning; falling from two flights of stairs at mom's client's house. nyahaha, that is soo embarrassing. only for my mom to find out after almost a month of denying that nothing is wrong, she knows. it's not just a simple chest pain. it is angina pectoris. angina pectoris doesn't have anything to do with the female body part; i know what some guys are thinking. it's a severe occurring paroxysmal chest pain located at the upper rib cage associated with severe (so many severes... ugh) mental and emotional stress. whew. and that started almost a month and a few weeks ago. ow. okay, that's weird. i had this since our dumb breakup! waah! think it's funny? no way! it hurts, damn it, and sometimes shortness of breath isn't something i expected.. what crap. i didn't count on my mother knowing about this, but dear-old-doc had to ask... "what's on your mind?" stupid. so that's why mom had to know. she just said, "it's with her schooling and all." thanks.

tulad ng dati by the dawn

Tulad Ng Dati
the Dawn

Wala na akong makita sa iyong mga mata
Dati rati'y isang tingin mo lang alam ko na
Bakit ngayon ika'y nababalot sa kulay ng hatinggabi
Nagtatanong, nangangarap na ika'y magisnang muli

Kung may bagyo o kung tag-araw
Sa iyong damdamin
Sana ay makilala kang muli, tulad ng dati
Halika at lumapit kang muli, tulad ng dati

Wala na akong maramdaman sa iyong mga kamay
Dati rati'y isang hawak ko lang, alam ko na
Alam ko na
Kung may bagyo o kung tag-araw sa iyong damdamin
Sana ya makilala kang muli, tulad ng dati
Halika at lumapit kang muli, tulad ng dati...


haha, and i used to love this freaking song, now i don't because i relate. ugh. weird. sometimes i don't want to even listen to the radio, and i can't-and don't want to listen to r&b anyway! *bawls* this life can be so stressful, i hate it. life's so dumb unfair. and yeah, i am starting to have doubts on the "alternative rock princess" title. all because of a stupid girl... *hmmm...*

i should be over you, i should know better, but it's just not the case...

i should be yeah, oveeeerrr jace. nope, i'm not. after so many days-- yes, days not weeks, not even months after the 18th.. i am not okay. unwell. sick. mentally retarded already of all these things that go bump in my wee head. after trying in vain, a week of not crying over this, it failed. just last friday, last night (thursday) and yes, today. friday. wtf. marvelous. everything that'll change at least a bit, can't. no can do. ugh. life. especially when you entertain the idea of him texting (unlimitedly, fyi) the girlaloo. the ecthie-betchie slut. ugh. the rakizzzta (with the sarcastic "z"). she loves z. that's why her profile is so filled with ZZzZzZZZzZZZzzzz... and it's quite obvious why he likes her. i am sour graping, i admit. and i am bitter, i openly admit these all so that i you know how to deal with the pain-enduring princessa.

heck, i'm bitter.


i'll never forget the day i was cursed... i don't curse you, still...

do you remember, the 22nd night of april? *singing*. sorry, that was modified. i'll never forget that. pathetic... i was literally slapped in the face squarely.

happy monthsary!

nyak, how about ruining my day during the mawdella-for-a-day shoot last 23rd? it was for seventeen... it shpuld've been happy if he didn't greet me Happy Monthsary! damn, as if i didn't remember what day it was. but infront of rapao? gawd... how would he think i'd react? happily? sarcastically?! that was an insult, for crying out loud! here i am, trying to "pretend" that i am enjoying the so-called single life and you barge me with a "happy" day?! wtf! *sobs*

i should be enjoying this...

review on the first, i should be happy about being single, but nooooow... i am not. until the etchie-betchie slut entered the scenario. and finding out about the fish. *bawls* i feel so sick. *sob*

tried so hard to say goodbye...

haha, i know you know that i love maroon5. anyway, that isn't the point. but to end this crap, i still am sick, still crazy, still having these heart-in-throat feelings when he's around, still go kiligerz when he starts to sing, still love. i know he isn't the best, after all he has put me through; but i don't get to count the bad doughnuts, i count the good muffins he gives.ü it's hard, really. but i am earnestly trying to seek help, even if it means asking him for it himself.

i love you so much, but life is hard. help me out.

Clouds are shrouding us in moments unforgettable
y0u tWist t0 fit tHe moLd tHat i aM iN
But things just get so crazy living life gets hard to do
And i would gladly hit the road get up and go if i knew
That someday it w0uLd lEad mE baCk t0 y0u
tHat s0mEday it w0uLd lEad mE baCk t0 y0u

That may be aLL i nEeD
In darkness hE iS aLL i sEe
Come and rest your bones with me
Driving slow on sunday morning
And i never want to leave..

~*princessa

*messy me*

I Miss You

Hello there, the angel from my nightmare
the shadow in the background of the morgue
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley
we can live like Jack and Sally if we want
where you can always find me
we'll have Halloween on Christmas
and in the night we'll wish this never ends
we'll wish this never ends

(I miss you, miss you)
(I miss you, miss you)

Where are you and I'm so sorry
I cannot sleep, I cannot dream tonight
I need somebody and always
this sick strange darkness
comes creeping on so haunting every time
and as I stared I counted
webs from all the spiders
catching things and eating their insides
like indecision to call you
and hear your voice of treason
will you come home and stop this pain tonight
stop this pain tonight

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

Don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)
don't waste your time on me you're already
the voice inside my head (I miss you, miss you)

(I miss you, miss you)



this is waht goes on in my pretty little hypermnesiac head a day after i believe to have fooled myself that everything's okay.

such a hurtful, spiteful, bitter, loving me.
i miss.

~*princessa

*15 minutes of fame, turned 6 hours of fun*

okay, so here's the story...



Hi girls!

How are you all? Hope well :) I'm emailing you for a makeover shoot I'm doing this Saturday, 9am at the Summit office (Level 1 Robinsons Galleria Mall). Can you make it?

Kindly call or text me asap at 0917-8179784 to confirm your attendance.

Thank you very much!

Mariel :)

Mariel M. Chua
Beauty Editor
seventeen Philippines
Level 1, Robinsons Galleria
EDSA cor. Ortigas Ave.
Quezon City, 1100
636-6151; 631-8971 loc.153
www.summitmedia.com.ph

and the PS thingie...

Hi again girls!

Please be ready with a 'top beauty woe/request' on Saturday. Something like,

"I want to look less mataray."
"I want to look younger."
"I want to try bangs."

Please bring a sheet of paper with the following info:

Name
Age
School
Contact numbers
favorite beauty product

Thank you very much! Please call or text me as soon as you read this email, thanks!

Mariel :)

Mariel M. Chua
Beauty Editor
seventeen Philippines
Level 1, Robinsons Galleria
EDSA cor. Ortigas Ave.
Quezon City, 1100
636-6151; 631-8971 loc.153
www.summitmedia.com.ph

haha, i made it!ü and even if there were a hundred-and-one well, frantic runs and such a long photo shoot... today's 6-hour wait at summit media studios really did pay off.ü such asteegness...

"me, only better".ü

this day is just wonderful.ü

~*princessa

*music reviews 01*

Mata
Mojofly

Kamusta na, nandyan ka pa ba
Wala na yatang magagawa kundi tumawa
Nandyan pa ba mga ala-ala
Ang tanging bagay na naiwan sa 'ting dalawa

'wag na paikutin ang isa't isa
Lahat ng bagay ay malinaw na
Hindi na rin kailangan pagpilitan pa
'di mo na kinakailangan pang magsalita

Chorus
Nakita ko na lahat ito
Pinahihiwatig ng mata mo
Salamat na lamang sa iyo

» this is mata by mojofly. i like it, i love it, one of the many sawngs i get to sing.. wakekeke, this is sooo sappy of me... but hey, it arouses a hundred and one memories, even the one i despise to remember. oooh, how sarcastic the queen of naboo is.





Same Ground
Kitchie Nadal

My love
It's been a long time since i cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you the way
When i never really wanted to

Self denial
Is a game so strange i never really should've wanted
Til there was you
Cause i have learned that love was beyond
What human can imagine
More it clears
The more i gotta let you go

'cause what i don't understand
Is why i'm feeling so bad now
When i know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied
Now why am i the only one standing stranded
On the same ground

My love
It's been a long time since i cried
And left you out of the blue
It's hard
Leaving you the way
When i never really wanted to

Self denial
Is a game so strange i never really should've wanted
Til there was you
Cause i have learned that love
Is a word just thrown
A little bit too much of this
Excuse to fill this infinite of desire
And never ever have to fade

Cause what i don't understand
Is why i'm feeling so bad now
When i know it was my idea
I could've just denied the truth and lied
Now why am i the only one standing stranded
On the same ground

If all else fails
Would you be there to love me?
When all else fails
Would you be brave to see right through me?


» okay now, that hurt. *sob* he claims that "this is HIS song for me"... okay now, that is sooo pointless. why are all songs like these two? especially when it comes to nikki, queen of naboo, expert in friend-handling, inborn hypermnesiac, hopeless romantic, lovefool?

oh yes... because the pain of letting is too real, and that forgetting is not in the picture, and accepting is just a mere second. getting things back the way they were is what i want.

i miss, i love, and i'm still me; and here.
~*princessa

*life, here and there and begging to differ*

okay now, so let's just say i've defended my side... all the cleaning up, clearing up, and fixing did give me angina pectoris. whew, big word for a petite me. the ennui of all it still does mean a lot to me. and even if things are a bit okay, they all fall into certain categories:

»can we still be friends? can we still get together sometime?

okay, well, going out together and having double sundaes and watching spongebob's on the list. i just hate the idea of the bull pizzle being asked out... that just damn slapped me in the face flat. *snicker* although she's, weeeell, pretty... she lacks thingies. oooh, how bitter h.r.h. the queen of naboo is.

»oh, but the thought of letting you go...«

kinda stupid, but i'll NOT forget... that's just a stupid, dumb phrase-outed thingie people try to think it's possible. yeah, cat shit. i won't forget yknoe.. just trying to accept a loss, trying to heal all possible, contradictory, deep wounds this has given me. and oh, the angina pectoris. hooh, big deal. i love repeating that. i still feel a bit bitter.. and if ever he may think that i sound bitter, weeeell, can't do anything about that. it is.

»on krazz16 and pez_o52«

okay, now, who the heck?! what the heck?! heck, heck, heck!ü two new thingies, possible diversions, and points of interest. yihee, something new but on the contrary, an oldie, just upgraded.ü

i still miss, even after the sent items thing and the missing thing.. i just can't count the wrongies.ü
and i still love.

~*princessa

*sent items*

this is the most exhausting summer i have ever encountered since summer 03. this is really pathetic, yknow what i mean. i have never been so down like this. *sob*

i'd like to announce credits... hehehe...

caloy» well, not exactly.. but your hints made me think, over and over.
katrina» at least there's a mariano girl who listens..
joen» i just love your patience, bes.ü
keira» how unlikely how two girls, both estradas can meet at ends of this earth.ü i feel for you, too.


anyway, remember all phones do have sent items as folders... don't go fooling around, or else yer mommies just might tinker with it.ü

you just know how to make a person hurt, ano? you're smart... i'm smarter than you think.

it still hurts how life can be so unfair.
i miss.
~*princessa

*bragga-muffin turned-into-nobody's-raggamuffin girl*

okay, so i didn't know that my mom was that proud of me. hey, i wasn't born a brat nor a "stage-mother's-baby-girl", either. i just didn't know how proud she could be. she like, literally bragged about her second eldest, broken-hearted, simple-minded, hypermnesiac daughter. my achievements. my skills. my abilities. how i had her hand caught in the space gear's front door. *chuckles* it's just amazing how moms can do that; and i knew that i was just average. damn, i can say with my "getting-well-soon" abilities, i am extraordinary. but as for now, let's just say that i'm superwoman-with-kryptonite-in-her-face weak, as of today's nikki forecast. heehee, that's so raven--uhh, weird, i mean.ü

remember the song about the raggamuffin girl? nothing, i just literally remembered the song. dammit, i just dunno how things like these could ever be fixed. i miss, i yearn, i still love. it just hurts that nobody does ever understand the true meaning of really being there. gosh, i mean, how is that possible? pointing out that you just can't hang around but literally be there... this pain, this so-called agony... *sigh* darn it. just being there isn't enuf. *sob*

he just can't get it, does he?
i miss.
~*princessa

*clowning around...*

not that i'm being literal or anything... but do you know about a certain clown that'll make yer heart go to yer throat whenever it's time to talk? or, the mere fact that you DO smile when that clown does come around?

i do know that clown. he's one of the things that simply makes me smile.ü

~*princessa

*spaces and missing...*

okay, okay... change worlds i guess. it's summer, damn! can't i be given at LEAST one decent day, again?! my gawd, i am feeling sooo funny right now.ü anyway, i still am loving this freaking blog... *bawls* labo.ü

anyway, will i be like, forever in an emotional high whenever he's around? i really dunno if i'll be the same me again, if that's what you call it. i am still quite reliable to him whenever he's around. damn, that's really pathetic. and, i really dunno if i can fill back the so-called space. well, i know i will, but not soon. we are the kind of pair that's the "we-are-friends-for-real-and-not-what-you-think" thing. i mean, the closeness, the connection is still there, and we're not talking just because we'd want to. we are really talking. but sometimes, talking isn't just enuf. yeah, yeah, i knoiw what you're thinking... we don't go out? of course we still do! *yawn* we do, we do, we still do. ehem, ehem...

it's just so hard this time to erase things so fast. i need more time, more space, more of him to get him off my head. labo? true, but it's the only way out.

~*princessa

*summer romance*

hekhekhek... wh0a, summer. what and where to do. gosh, i am so0o0o0 excited!ü i may not be going to the iLc, but i guess there are lots to be "fixed" in my agenda.ü i just wonder why just some people are so corny-in-love. not that i'm sour or anything; i mean, i am happy with hi, around... but aren't some peeps so immature? *guffaw*

damn, i love summer!!! *dance, dance, dance*