*double-sided tape*

28th of october, 2005...

a few weeks more, it's gonna be christmas.

and in a few weeks more, am gonna be completely insane. damn. why is it that you have to pretend that things are okay when the thing is, it isn't? or when you think that things aren't okay, when the thing is, they are? it's all about the viseversa thing, you know; and that maybe because people have this insatiable shitty attitude of finding contentment that nobody gets to find it anyway?


it's practically the reason why people aren't content.

i feel sick, as of today. i have dancer's legs and an aching lower back because of my period. it comes early this year. hahaha! didn't really have to broadcast that. but this is a journal, for crying out loud! and i feel nauseous all because of three people. damn it.

on trez, that's one. he's cute, he's fun, he's my official YCC-summer 2005. much of a person that softened the blows that i received on may 7, 2005. evening. camp was as weird as that? yeah. but we're in touch, we're close, we're... we're... help me out here, please. i don't want to be involved with someoe younger than a year.

what a bitch.

on pez, gawd.. isn't this supposed to be a cold case already?! cold case in the sense of being unresolved, but still not closed. i wish he didn't bring up the idea of having him over for christmas, damn it. and how the shit and the why did he know?! or did that just enter his mind and bluffed? i have to admit, mommy likes him so much... i hate my mother for that, i hate him for that... but i am proud. (weird) but it's about time i resolved this.

or can i? damn estrada, you are such a weak bitch! *sob*


on trez2.. that's new. yeah, i know. trez IS a double-sided tape. a double-backing tape. why, there's two peeps under the same categ, dearie. but this one's the malupet one. he's my original YCC-2004. even before allan. even before renzo. even before jason. even before blah-blah-blahblah-blah came to history. he's tall, dark, "semi"-handsome.. and damn, he's 3 years my senior!!! that's it.. maybe he thinks i'm too young for him that i'm forever stuck in the little girl category. but we're in touch. so much. and i miss him. and he misses me. oh, damn it!


where is my life going, actually? dunno. it's always the damn journ-slash-queen thing. i hate it sometimes.. grabe. AM SOO PREDICTABLE. yuck.


and for christmas? what am i having? nothing!!!! hahaha! kill me please...


i don't want this anymore, this tangle that i am in.

trez. pez. trez2. pez. trez. trez2. *sobs*.... hmm... lemme see... *sobs some more* and what if i can't help it???

»i know you're out there, somewhere out there... -OLOPeace


help me, please. i love the world so much.
~*princessa