*my angel, my sun up in the sky*

i have lots of things in my head right now; that is, if i still have my head. today is easter sunday. haha, as if. next, mommy wants me to quit on one thing: its either give up on the Parish Youth Ministry or YFC. i dunno if i did choose correctly, but i gave up on the ministry, making choir crumble. i just dunno how i'll break the news.

next, this unfillable space. blank. dent. nothing. gap. what do you get to call a missing part of you, anyway? its so hard to like, accept such a loss. as if a part of me has died out, not just physically but mentally and emotionally. i am stuck in this limbo that i don't even know when i'll ever recover. it hurts to move on; i mean, fuck those people who even "believe" in the theory that we should "move on" as soon as possible. as SOON as possible?! when the heck did "possible" become applicable in such cases? *sob*

i still miss. but i still have to continually hurt myself forgetting to do the things i have been accustomed to do for a year short of a few days. can i have my angel, my sun up in the sky back again? help me, God.

and i still love.

~*princessa